Whenever my breath feels stale but I need to breathe,
I sit on my front porch (preferably in the early morning
But sometimes afternoon)
Only when it’s sunny
(Usually I have to squint my eyes but I don’t mind)
It cleanses me in a funny sort of way
(Even when it’s loud with endless planes
And cars and caravans
Travelling from the park up the road)
Everything seems quiet
Everything seems calm
The breeze settles a stillness within me
As I sit behind my white picket fence
The world seems at ease
And everyone and everything is just
Living their lonely lives
(I suppose we’re all alone in the end
We only have our own footprints to follow
We’re all just individuals growing like trees
I guess the trees live lonely lives too)
And the bees go about busying their buzzing wings
And the ants remind me of the city
(Where everyone seems so purposefully aimless)
The plants and the leaves sway and flicker in the breeze
And glow brightly in the sun
(I hope I glow like that)
Even in the winter chill the sun is warm
Time seems to stop
(The only thing reminding me the clock is moving
Is the shadow slowly creeping up my back)
I almost stop with it (I’m not worrying about where I’m going
Or where I’ve been)
I’m just here
And although my heart is beating
And my blood flowing
And my lungs are breathing
I am frozen
And the sun is melting me into this moment
My heart fills with an overwhelming tranquility
The sky is a blue of utmost serenity
My thoughts are undisturbed by thoughts of not belonging
Because I do belong
(I belong to the world
And I belong to myself)
I go unnoticed by the people who walk by
But they are never unnoticed by my wandering eye
(Wondering if they feel a belonging like I do)
To sit here feels so simple
So easy
(It’s nice to just do nothing every once in a while
And it feels like if I never moved from this very spot
Nothing would ever change)
I guess I like the beautiful chaos that blooms inside my mind
But sometimes it feels like it dries up
So sometimes it’s also nice to let go
And breathe fresh air.

Sometimes it’s nice to feel the silence.

Posted by:Lauren Kathleen

One thought on “My front porch – A poem

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