Last night I turned into a mermaid

Last night while my eyes were closed, I turned into a mermaid. It all started on a fairly regular day when my family and I decided we wanted to try out a new place to eat, specifically to try the breakfast sandwich on their menu. It had a name I don’t remember, but there was something special about it that we’d heard around town.

We headed out into the city but it wasn’t normal. It was like we’d travelled back in time. Everything was dusty and tinted very yellow and rust, not to mention the fact that there were hardly any cars. Everyone walked along the sides of a wide dirt road without signs or traffic lights or anything I’m used to. Only a few shops and eateries were dotted along the road. It was almost like the Wild West, or at least like how I’d imagine it to be. My family and I approached the door of a pub-type cafe, the name of which I also don’t remember. The door was old and heavy, made of wood. We went in and it was all dark, very different from the bright, dry outside environment. It smelt like damp wood. It felt rustic and all the tables, walls, floors and everything was made from dark brown, almost black, wooden planks. It seemed like a pirate cabin and all the people in there seemed like the types of men who looked like they should have long hair and smoke cigars. There were some familiar faces but no one I properly knew.

When it came time to order food, they had a large jar with m&m type capsules inside, each with a letter on. Each different letter corresponded to a different meal. So we had to reach our hand in and pick the capsule with the letter of the meal we wanted and the staff would transform it into our meal (with magic??). Unfortunately, there was only one capsule left for the meal we wanted, so we all had to pick different ones. For some reason all the other meals had weird side effects or magical powers attached to them that you would then ingest if you ate the food. For example, one might give you x-ray vision or turn all your hair white. I decided to pick the one that turned me into a mermaid.

I don’t remember eating my meal, I just remember everyone around me suddenly becoming random people and not my family. The meals disappeared, everything was swirling around me. The table suddenly transformed into a Japanese style table (like the ones where you sit on the floor and have a hole in the ground) but instead of just a hole in the floor it was a hole into the sea. And suddenly, I had a mermaids tail. I don’t remember feeling any different, but as soon as I lifted my tail out of the water, there was some kind of glitch, my form switched back and forth between tail and legs, until finally settling on legs. Until of course, I submerged them into the water again. The catch with the mermaid transformation is that I’m only a mermaid when my feet or legs are in water. I suppose the newly opened hole into the sea let me see my transformation. So when I put my lower half in water my legs morph into a mermaids tail, but when they’re not in water they just look like normal legs. However, they don’t work like normal legs, in fact they don’t work at all. I can’t walk, I can’t control my legs or feet. I’m basically paralysed from the waist down, until I submerge myself in water. The only reason they look like normal legs is simply so I don’t look weird to the general public. I figured I’ll have to use a wheelchair when I’m not swimming and a mermaid. I’m not sure I grew gills either, so I couldn’t exactly just adopt the life of mer-people.

Other than me, there was another guy whose meal made his hair really white and long. He slipped under the table into the water and his hair was spread out around him in the water as he stared at my tail in awe. The guy next to me got turned invisible. But only his skin, so I could see his skeleton and all his veins, which wasn’t terribly pleasant. Someone else clearly got lightning powers because I remember lots of bright light flashes and thunder grumbles.

Then I woke up. I guess I’m glad it was only a dream, I don’t exactly fancy the idea of having to choose between a half human life or a half mermaid life.