I have recently realised that I am quite a big believer in fate. I don’t necessarily think that this is a conscious choice, but just something inside of me that has always subconsciously been there. Now, I contradict myself a bit when it comes to what I believe in the ways of the world. What I mean by this is that I am very imaginative and a huge dreamer, dreaming of things I want that can never be, but I also don’t have a problem with knowing those dreams won’t come true because most of the time I’m very realistic. So, in some ways my belief in fate may be perceived as a bit contradictory to my realistic nature, because as a concept, fate is quite magical.
So, this revelation first came from the realisation that I’ve always felt oddly connected to my inner self. Not necessarily in a spiritual way, but in a way I find it difficult to describe. It almost feels like a sixth sense. It has a lot to do with expectations and the way things in life end up working out for me. I think that the unexpected and expected are a lot deeper in me that just what I consciously think will happen. For example, last year many things happened for me that consciously I didn’t expect to happen, because I always just view myself as being ordinary or average. Not in a low self-esteem kind of way, but just because I’m conscious of others being better than me, and I have no problem with that because it’s just the way of life. I simply don’t view myself as above other people in any way. More about that another time. These things were like, how far I expected to go in particular competitions I entered, or how high I thought I would score in school. Consciously, my beliefs in myself were that I’d do average, or I wouldn’t achieve anything special, or that nothing would really come of any of it. But, there’s often this voice inside of me, like a gut feeling, that I would end up doing really well, but my mind just made a different decision. This doesn’t really directly relate to fate but it’s about that inner connection I have. Like I just seem to be able to sense in a subconscious way when/how things are going to happen. I think this is partly why I am usually such an even tempered person. Say, I had a falling out with a particular person or friend, or I got treated in a certain way by someone, while my mind and heart gets upset temporarily, my gut is telling me ‘told you so’. I always feel as if I already somehow knew that this thing was going to happen before it happened, so I never usually stay upset for very long, as if I expected it. And while sadness can follow even expectations, disappointment does not. Maybe everyone feels this way, I’m not sure, I’ve just always found it slightly odd.
As for my views on the actual idea on fate, I am not a religious person and don’t believe in a god that is controlling and creating my life. Of course, I respect all the beliefs of people who do believe in a god, they simply aren’t my beliefs. My belief is just that everything happens for a reason and everyone will find their purpose, their path, their success, or their special someone if they just let life and the universe lead the way. The thing is I don’t think that there is a higher power controlling our every move. Rather, I think we have some form of free will to lead ourselves towards the path that we want, while being guided along the path and aided in making the right decisions. I just have this weird un-describable sense that I am being guided along the way and that everything will turn out well in the end. Anything bad that happens, I just look ahead into the future a bit and think about how it will have made me a better person. I know that there is a reason it happened.
See, there is quite a distinct difference between how we connect with our minds, our hearts and our guts. Gut feelings don’t communicate with our brains in the same way, it’s a sense rather than a thought. You can’t always translate the things your gut is trying to tell you. It’s not actually even in your gut, just an inner feeling that perhaps only some people are properly connected to and can fully recognise. Your heart is made up of wishes and desires, reaching and yearning for things that aren’t always for the best. Your gut knows fate and what’s best for you. Your mind communicates with the heart more directly, imagining the things that it desires and making the things that it lusts for even stronger and more pertinent. I believe that fate and gut feelings take you to where you need to be in life, even if you have to go through rough terrain to come out a better person. If we had complete free will, we would listen to our minds and our hearts more. Perhaps some people try to listen to their hearts, not believing in the purpose or strength of gut feelings, but in the end, fate will always take over.
There have been many times in my life where something bad has happened that has caused me upset and pain, but looking back on all of those things now, they happened for a reason and I wouldn’t be the person I am today if they hadn’t have happened. So while at the time they would have been perceived as bad, I do not at all regret them having happened and now I perceive them as good things because they made my life and my person better in the long run. And that right there, I believe, is due to fate. It is as much fate that those good things happened as it is that those bad things happened. I’m not sure if anything is every really good or bad, it’s all in the way you look at it and your perspective, and how your mind sees those feelings.
Fate isn’t there to lead you towards an amazing perfect life where everything that happens is wonderful. Fate is there to lead you towards developing your person and your life and making you into the best version of yourself that you can be and creating an amazing and happy end point in your life. And if you listen to those gut feelings and have faith in fate, I am positive it will happen.